i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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