I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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