Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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