have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
