I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
