If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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