Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
