so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize