I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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