he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize