Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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