I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
