there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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