I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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