OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
