so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
