she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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