We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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