it hurts more in the daytime
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm like, not good at living.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
