Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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