I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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