After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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