She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
