Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
