We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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