so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
