i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
