i think my mom watched the whole time
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize