You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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