He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
