Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
