Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
