I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
