How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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