i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
