Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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