I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sorry my hands just texted you
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
