4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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