Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
