I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
True strength comes from lack of pants
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
