Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
