i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
