there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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