She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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