Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
