i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
