There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
