Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
