this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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