Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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