if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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