ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Randomize
