2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
