i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I did not marry a roomba.
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