Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
