one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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