Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
