why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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