I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
