Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
