Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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